Clearing Space for What's Next

The last few weeks have been strange.

Not necessarily bad. Not necessarily good. Just full.

My back has been giving me trouble, and when something hurts every time you move, it has a way of making everything else feel a little harder too. Add some other general health annoyances, and I've been reminded that I can't simply expect my body to keep up with whatever my brain has decided we're doing that day.

My brain, unfortunately, has not received that memo.

Then there was my birthday.

Birthdays are funny things as you get older. I don't need balloons, presents or a room full of people singing badly over a cake. But there are certain people you expect to hear from.

My son didn't call.

I'm not going to turn that into an entire journal entry by itself, because it doesn't deserve to take over everything else that has happened. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. Sometimes disappointment isn't loud. It simply sits there quietly beside everything else.

And while all of that has been happening, something I've been working toward may finally be becoming real.

We met with the landlord for the store we plan to open.  We Not Me Farm Ministries Thrift, where nothing will be over $5.00

Now we're waiting for the lease.

That's it. We're in that peculiar stage where something can feel close enough to touch but isn't quite yours yet. Once the lease is finished, we can get the keys. And once we have the keys, there will be cleaning, organizing, figuring things out, probably changing our minds fifteen times, and eventually turning an empty space into something that actually belongs to us.

Waiting isn't one of my better skills.  I severely lack patience.

So naturally, while waiting, I found something else to do.

I started cleaning my computer.

And my phone.

Anyone who saves information because “I might want this someday” knows exactly how dangerous that sentence is.

I have folders inside folders. Screenshots I don't remember taking. Documents I haven't looked at in years. Pictures that immediately make me wonder why on earth I thought they were important enough to save.

And memes.

So. Many. Memes.

Over time, I've saved historical stories, quotations, strange facts, legal oddities, social commentary and things that simply made me stop and think. Some are funny. Some are infuriating. Some seem impossible but turn out to be true.

And some are complete nonsense.

Instead of simply moving all of them from one folder into another—which would technically qualify as organizing but accomplish absolutely nothing—I've been going through them.

One at a time.

Is the person real?

Did the event actually happen?

Did that person really say those words?

Is the statistic accurate?

Is the story basically true but exaggerated?

Is there something worthwhile underneath the bad meme?

If it checks out, I may keep the subject for a future General Digital Drawer post. If the basic story is real but the meme mangles it, I keep the story and get rid of the bad information. If it's nonsense, it goes.

Delete.

There is something remarkably satisfying about that little button.

The unexpected problem is that this cleanup isn't reducing my writing material.

It's multiplying it.

I now have more topics for General Digital Drawer than I know what to do with. History, forgotten events, strange bits of science, things we were taught incorrectly, things nobody ever taught us at all, quotations worth investigating, and stories that deserve more than the six sentences somebody squeezed onto a Facebook graphic.

Then there is real estate.

That's even worse.

Every conversation seems to create another subject.

Something happens with a buyer—there's an article.

I research a property—there are three more.

I notice something about an inspection, insurance, zoning, flood zones, negotiations, property records, preparing a house, or the difference between what people think buying a home is like and what actually happens—and there goes another topic onto the list.

For someone who occasionally wonders what she's going to write about next, I have apparently created the opposite problem.

I may need several lifetimes just to empty the topic folders.

And somewhere in the middle of all this deleting, sorting, researching and waiting, I realized there is a connection between things that didn't seem connected at all.

I'm clearing space.

Some of it is literal. Old files are disappearing from the computer. Screenshots are disappearing from the phone. Information worth keeping is becoming organized instead of buried among things that aren't.

Some of it is mental. I'm deciding what deserves my attention and what doesn't.

Some of it is physical. If that lease arrives, we'll soon have a new space to clean, organize and turn into something useful.

And some of it is emotional.

A birthday came and went. Someone I wanted to hear from didn't call. My body has been reminding me that I'm not indestructible. I am not twenty any more. There are things I can't control and things I can't make happen simply because I'm ready for them to happen.

The lease will come when it comes.

The keys will come after that.

My back will hopefully decide to cooperate.

People will make their own choices.

But there are still things I can do.

I can clean the folder.

I can check whether the story is true.

I can keep the things worth keeping.

I can delete the things that aren't.

I can write down the ideas before they disappear.

And I can make room.

Maybe that's what these last few weeks have really been about.

Not starting over.

Not forgetting what came before.

Just deciding what deserves to come with me into whatever happens next.

#Journal #LifeLately #ClearingClutter #DigitalDecluttering #NewBeginnings #PersonalReflections #FactChecking #GeneralDigitalDrawer #RealEstateLife #SmallBusiness #BirthdayReflections #MakingSpace #WhatsNext